Ralph Schillace, Ph.D., Author, Speaker, Clinical Psychologist


Relationship Pain

Chapter 1 The Reality of Relationship Pain 1
Chapter 2 Loss and Trauma and Relationship Pain 41
Chapter 3 The Role of the Unconscious and Memory in Relationship Pain 83
Chapter 4 Relationality and Relationship Pain 119
Chapter 5 Why Intimate Relationships May Hurt So Much 161
Chapter 6 The Parent/Child, Child/Parent Circle 209
Chapter 7 Workplace Stress and Relationship Pain 243
Chapter 8 Three Unusual Relationship Situations: Places, Animals, and Self 281
Chapter 9 Relationship Theory from Thirty-Seven Guidelines and the Relationship Theory Checklist 319
Chapter 10 Toward Relationship Joy: The Development of the Self and the Resolution of Relationship Pain 377

We swim in a sea of interpersonal relationships, often unaware of what keeps us afloat or what is drowning us. “Relationship Pain” is a life preserver that raises our awareness and teaches us critical survival skills in a variety of relationship situations.

There is no better natural high than the joy of being in love, the good times of a friendship, the connection with the team at work and at play, the meaningfulness of healthy family life. These pluses of our relationship life, while being wonderful, also lay the foundation for a vulnerability that can bring us significant pain.

Injuries of all sorts from relationships (frustration, disappointment, rejection, betrayal) are as common as dirt. That does not make them trivial. They are as real and destructive as injuries from physical events, as substantial as broken bones and lacerated flesh. "Relationship Pain" helps us understand and heal from the reality of emotional pain from interpersonal losses and traumas. Based on over 35 years of the author's clinical experience, it is a must read as a survival manual for the stormy seas of relationship life.

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“You can close your eyes to the things you do not want to see, but you cannot close your heart to the things you do not want to feel.”
(Tom Robbins)